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The other day I got a lovely little package from Mitt Romney in the mail, and while asking for money he was generous enough to give us a free picture of himself. The picture, however, lacked a lot of his core values, so my friend and I were kind enough to add them.

As you can see, Romney, is sporting a brand new set of Devil horns, tail, and wings.  He also has three different mustaches, because he wants to relate to all kinds of mustache-wearers.  For some reason his torso and pockets look really boxy, so we added his favorite book “how to be a douche.”  Because Romney isn’t human, we added rockets to his legs. He’s also holding a gun behind his back so he can shoot some free health care.

In the bottom left corner you can see his private tractor or golf cart (or trolf tart), and his dog is tied to the roof of it.  In the top left is his pet unicorn, which he tied to the roof of the barn (and has broken legs) because it had an abortion.  His best friend/campaign manager is the creepy guy in the hood.  He was also in the Scream movies as the psycho killer.

After a little paragraph with an awkward use of an ellipsis, he left his elegant signature. This was changed to represent what people would say if he were elected: “Shit, Romney!”

Romney 2012?  TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL no.

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Why is the elephant a perfect symbol for Republicans?

They never forget, lead each other around by the tail, and think everyone should work for peanuts.

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- Not me but I wish
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The Supreme Court is having a lot of trouble deciding whether or not Obama Care is constitutional.  I don’t know much about anything, but I do know how to solve any problem.

DANCE IT OUT


Mission accomplished.

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I met this kid, and he was like Why don’t you like gay marriage?

And I was like Cause it’s sacred.

So he was like If it’s so sacred then why have you been divorced three times?

So then I was like

+5 for Raging Republican.

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RED, WHITE, AND FREEDOM BITCHEZZ

RED, WHITE, AND FREEDOM BITCHEZZ

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Why do Republicans love doing laundry?

They’re naturals at separating the whites from the colors.

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- The Most Accurate Man on Earth